Rituals create a channel through which love can flow
When hard things happen in our world, we need to lean into larger sources of support.
Ritual are group processes that help people connect with each other, and with a deeper source of meaning and grace
The rituals I lead are outwardly very simple.
They may look like a conversation around the coffee table in the living room, or a group of friends gathered in a park, but they create a space for deep healing and connection.
Examples of Healing Rituals
- A sharing circle to help you, and your immediate family, integrate the shock of a big diagnosis
- A storytelling ceremony in the family home before an aging parent moves into long term care
- A goodbye ritual for a woman’s breast before she undergoes a mastectomy
- A celebration ritual to welcome the new, one-breasted woman
- A healing circle before beginning chemo or radiation, or when it finishes
- A farewell ceremony when capacities like the ability to drive, to see, or to live alone are lost
- A celebration after positive test results, or when a capacity is regained
Rituals I've Guided for Clients
These blog posts tell the stories of family healing rituals I've designed and led:
Questions About Ritual Healing
This is all new to me, how can a ritual help?
Illness and loss bring up lots of powerful emotions: love, relief, anger, grief, fear, and more. These emotions can get intermingled, and feel overwhelming.
The safe container of a facilitated ritual makes space for all the feelings, so they can move through us, instead of getting stuck inside.
My heart is breaking, how can a ritual help?
When someone we love is ill or dying, it’s important to say what really matters. “I want you to know how much you really mean to me,” “My heart is breaking,” “I love you,” and sometimes “Goodbye.”
It can be hard to find a way to have those conversations, but ritual can provide a structure where it's easier to share what you really feel.
I don't know what to do, how can a ritual help?
When someone we love is ill or dying, we want to help. But if the physical issues can’t be resolved, it’s hard to know what to do.
Illness and death remind us that we are more than our bodies, and rituals give us a way to offer support that is more than physical. Rituals create a channel through which love can flow.
What if I’m spiritual, but not religious?
My clients understand that illness, death and loss are part of their spiritual journey, but sometimes they don’t have a spiritual tradition to guide them through the process.
The mysteries of living and dying are too big to face alone, and we need the support of something bigger than ourselves. If you have a sense of the Sacred, but don’t have a way to connect with it, I can help you find words and practices that feel right for you.
What if I’m spiritual, and also religious?
People say that the ceremonies I lead feel “spiritually safe” because all traditions are respected, and nobody is asked to do anything outside their comfort zone.
If you have a religious tradition that sustains you, we can design a ritual that honours your particular spiritual values. In this case, the ceremonial practices I offer can help you and your loved ones connect more deeply to each other, in the context of your own spirituality.
When should I contact you?
Call me whenever death or loss --or the possibility of a death or loss-- starts to occupy a big place in your thoughts.
Call me when you need help coming to peace with a death from the past.
Maybe someone is aging and the end of their life is in sight. Maybe someone has had a significant diagnosis and suddenly their death feels more possible than it did before. Even if they recover, a brush with death is still a huge soul-process for everyone to go through.
If people are thinking about death, but not talking about it --to each other, or to the person who’s ill or dying-- that’s the time to call me. Those feelings need space, and keeping them locked in is rarely helpful.
Shouldn’t I wait until a death is really immanent?
Death happens in its own time. Talking about it doesn’t bring it on, and not talking about it certainly doesn’t prevent it.
If a death is coming, every moment counts, and the more beauty, love, and connection you can bring into those moments, the better. If the death doesn’t come soon, then the beauty and love are never wasted.
There is nothing to be lost by starting too early, but I've seen regrets in people who wished they'd started earlier than they did.
I’m ill and I don't want to think about dying. Why should I call you?
If you’re facing a serious illness, you’re probably putting all your energy into getting better. Hopefully you'll recover, and live for many more years.
Illness often brings mortality into the room, and there are many ways rituals can help sustain you emotionally and spiritually when this happens. Healing is about integrating what’s happening, so you can grow into the person the illness is asking you to become. Rituals help your soul catch up with the changes that illness brings.
More than anything, rituals are about creating more love in the world, and love is always a powerful force for healing.
Even if you didn't choose to be visited by illness or death, you can choose how you meet it
Get the help you need
If you're navigating a transition around illness, death or loss and need help integrating it, get in touch with me.
We can discuss your situation, and design a personalized ritual that fits your style and spiritual values.