I often work with people facing serious illnesses, but I’d never walked that path myself. Now, after a diagnosis of breast cancer in July 2019, I suddenly found myself on the other side of the conversation.
This page contains a series of posts from the first 10 months of my healing journey, with the most recent post at the top.
I’ve been grateful to have a place to share what I experienced, and I hope it will be helpful for others on this journey.
Many thanks for all your love and support,
May 19, 2020
I’ve been quietly back in social media land for a bit, but I wanted to make a post to really arrive here after my hiatus.
July 9th will mark one year since my diagnosis of breast cancer, and it’s hard to believe that I’ve almost made a full cycle of the seasons with this experience. In my first appointment, my surgeon told me that I’d have several hard months, but then things would settle down and I’d feel normal again. Happily (very happily!) she was right, although normal isn’t what it was, and that’s a good thing.Show More
February 4, 2020
(There’s an explanation for the fuzzy photo, read on.)
I’ve been under the radar for a few months, as I navigate this journey with breast cancer. Here’s a quick update before I disappear again.
I’m happy to announce that I’m finished all my treatments, and I’m officially no longer a “cancer patient” in the mainstream medical system. It’s been an intense time and, looking back, it’s hard to even remember how difficult some of it was. The diagnosis was shocking, and I felt overwhelmed and vulnerable. I had to dig deep, and to lean into all my support systems (including you, my online world) to find the energy to make it through.Show More
November 30, 2019
I’ve been quiet for a few weeks, incubating in the healing process as I move through my journey with breast cancer. I’ve decided to take a break from active work with Soul Passages while I do this. I’ll keep sending newsletters and updates, but will be re-posting old videos instead of making new ones. Thanks for your patience and support throughout this process.Show More
November 5, 2019
I spent part of this afternoon in a new patient orientation class for cancer patients. I spent the rest of the afternoon prone on the couch, recovering from the intensity of the class.
The content of the class was great, the instructor was wonderful, and the array of resources and support available (all for free) was inspiring. I’m incredibly grateful for all the people and systems that I can lean into during this process (including the friend who came with me to the class.)
At the same time, it’s amazing how much emotional energy it takes toShow More
October 21, 2019
Many thanks for your patience with my silence as I’ve been recovering from surgery last month. I needed to take a complete break to let myself heal, and it’s been well worth it. I’m feeling healthy and strong again, although I still tire easily. This is a marathon not a sprint.
The good news is that I just got my pathology report back, and there’s a lot to be very happy about. My lymph nodes are clear and my hormonal markers are good. The cancer is Stage II, and slow growing. Overall, my situation is very treatable (Yeah!) On the not-so-great side, the tumor was larger than they expected (4cm), and of course, it’s still cancer.
I’m exploring mainstream and complementary treatments and healing therapies, and have many appointments booked in the next few weeks.Show More
September 16, 2019
Recovering from anesthetic is harder than I expected! I’ve been off the radar for a few days, but have been very well cared for by Julie Kerr and others.
I can finally keep water and food down, I’m able to have marginally creative conversations, and today I’m contemplating a shower. These are huge improvements, and things will just get better from here.
Many thanks for all the notes and well wishes. I haven’t had the mojo to respond, but I receive and appreciate them all.
September 13, 2019
I’m out the other side, and very grateful for the kind and skillful care I received all day. I’ve never had this much experience with the provincial healthcare system, and I knew we were lucky to have it, but I’m even more convinced of that now.
Many thanks for all the wonderful love and support that came from so many of you, I felt buoyed by it all day. Surgery went well and I am, happily, feeling better than I had expected to. I’m tired and sore, but not in pain.Show More
September 13, 2019
Sarah’s sister Julie here with a status update from the recovery room.
Sarah is doing great. Surgery went well, and she’s had a 1/2 a turkey sandwich and a couple of Tylenol 3’s and is resting well.
She needs to rest and recuperate, but the worst is over and we’re all on the other side.
Thank you all for your support❤️
September 13, 2019
It’s Friday the 13th, tonight is a full moon, and I’m beginning the process.
I’m in pre-op now, with surgery at 9:50 Mountain time.
Many thanks for all your love and support. I’ll see you on the other side.
September 12, 2019
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
It’s hard to find words to express my gratitude for the incredible response to my video yesterday. The love and generosity that’s flowing towards me is filling me in ways that I didn’t know were possible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
The timing is perfect, because this is when I really need a support network. Two months of thinking about and preparing for surgery,Show More
September 11, 2019
Good News! I just got the results of the biopsy on my right breast, and the lump there is not cancerous. It still needs to be removed, but it’s a less complicated procedure, and they’ll do it when they do the left-side lumpectomy this Friday. What a relief.
Also, here’s a video I made this morning, which may be the hardest video I’ve made, and it may also be the most important to share. I hope you understand when you watch it.
At the community healing ritual for me last week, a wise friend said “I don’t wish you ease in this journey, I wish you depth.” This is taking me deep.
Many thanks for being with me as I walk this path.
September 5, 2019
I had a needle biopsy on my right breast today, to explore a suspicious spot that showed up on an MRI last week. It wasn’t the most fun way to spend an afternoon, but I’m OK.
This is my second biopsy (the first discovered the tumor in my left breast.) I found this one much less physically difficult, but much more emotionally and energetically intense. I think it’s because I’m getting closer to my surgery date (a week from tomorrow) and everything is more intense.Show More
September 3, 2019
Many thanks to all the dear ones who gathered around me yesterday in an amazing healing ritual. The intention was to prepare me for surgery (a lumpectomy) next week, and to help my confused cancer cells come back into health and balance. 50 of us gathered on a sunny September afternoon, and shared prayer, singing, rattling, laughter, tears, and lots and lots of love.
I’m used to being the one leading this kind of ritual, and it was an incredible gift to be able to relax in to this container of love, and justShow More
August 27, 2019
Cancer is tenderizing me. Everything is more poignant, both the beautiful experiences and the difficult ones.
The MRI found a small “enhanced area” in my other breast and the radiologist wants to check it out more closely. It may be nothing, or it may be something.
I’m waiting at the hospital, for an ultrasound appointment that was scheduled for 90 minutes ago.Show More
August 16, 2019
I’ve been thinking about how healing happens, and I’m curious to hear people’s experiences about “miraculous” or “inexplicable” healings.
At one level, there’s the Newtonian approach to healing, in which _things_ move around, changing shape, or quality, or relationship with each other. A broken leg heals when the bones knit back together. An infection heals when the body’s immune system defeats the germs.Show More
August 13, 2019
It’s been an interesting experience, speaking so often and so publicly about my breasts. They’ve always been a fairly intimate and private part of my body, but that’s changed. I guess breast cancer does that.
I didn’t do regular self exams, but if I did, I would likely have caught this lump earlier. I think one of the reasons I didn’t do them is that I didn’t really know what I was looking for. I read the handouts and tried to follow the directions, but it felt a bit random.Show More
August 9, 2019
Here’s a huge gratitude-filled update for all of you who have been sending love and healing to me through my prayer crystals.
I’ve taken the crystals with me everywhere, and I sleep with them each night. They bring me great comfort, and I feel a strong connection to all of you who love and support me through them, as I navigate this journey with breast cancer.Show More
July 20, 2019
In this update, I talk about how I discovered the tumor, and why I’ve decided to delay surgery for a bit, so that all the different parts of me are integrated and ready when it happens. (My surgeon is fine with this, the tumor is growing very slowly, and a month or two won’t make a difference.)
I’m so grateful for all of you who are with me in this difficult process. Thanks for listening and holding me, and I hope this is useful for you.