If you've been through a miscarriage, you know the grief it brings. And yet, there's a cultural message which says, “These things happen.” Yes, these things happen, but there's still incredible loss even when [Read more…]
When Death Happens Before Birth
Energetically, the experience of parenting is solidified at the moment of conception, and the energetic contract between souls —mother, father, child, (and siblings if there are any)— may begin even before that. No matter how [Read more…]
Meeting Death as a Couple
The pressure of facing his death was putting an enormous strain on their marriage. When the tension surfaced, it was easy for them to believe that the stress and discomfort they were each feeling was caused by something the other person [Read more…]
Digging my Father’s Grave
There’s something deeply cathartic about passing the shovel from hand to hand, and carving out a spot for the one we love. At some primal level, people know how important this task is, and the sign we’re finished is not that [Read more…]
Saying Goodbye to Bill
My dad, Bill Kerr, died on April 5th, 2017. Here are series of Facebook posts and photos from the days before and after his death, telling the story of my family’s experience. You can also read his obituary, and watch the video we showed at his funeral. [Read more…]
A Healing Ritual for Abortion
Our goal in this ritual was not only to change the experience for this child, this couple, and those who care about and support them, but also to help build new healing patterns in the cultural field, so that all those who have, or will, go through [Read more…]
Supporting Twins to Connect Beyond Death
The brother had never been ritually conveyed to the Village of the Ancestors, and the sister hadn’t been helped to reconfigure their bond so she could relate to him as an ancestor, rather than a living sibling. He was, in a sense, still here, and [Read more…]
Helping Kids Witness Death
I recently did a euthanizing ceremony for Artie, a family’s beloved cat. The vet came to the house, so the whole family (including Panther, the other cat) could be part of it. It was both very sad, and very beautiful. [Read more…]
A Hospice Deathbed Ritual
Even the simplicity of an ordered participation can help stabilize things. When they washed his hands and face with warm water and lavender, when they spoke their goodbyes, and when they anointed his forehead [Read more…]
A Coffin Closing Ceremony
There’s a fine line between empowering families to take death back from all the forces in this culture that push it away, and offering stable guidance when their world has come completely undone. Sometimes what people most need is [Read more…]
A Funeral Held 50 Years After the Death
When Annie was three, her mother and sister died together in childbirth. Annie’s baby sister was buried with her mother, but wasn’t named or mentioned at the funeral. Fifty years later, Annie still struggled with her grief. [Read more…]